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Mindful, Meditative May

site-5nFKdw — Thu, 12 May 2022 21:14:00 GMT

What is meditation, and how can a daily practice benefit you?

I love the month of May! The longer days, the warmer weather, the sunshine! It is such a wonderful time to get back in touch with nature, and ourselves. I have learned one of the best ways to do this is to practice mindfulness and meditation.

Now, I will be the first to admit that meditation had always been a little intimidating to me. I am so not that person who can sit still and quiet for any length of time, so I dismissed meditation as something that just wasn’t for me.

Until I had a class in school on prayer and meditation.

I learned SO much! And was finally able to remove that chip on my shoulder where both are concerned.

I discovered there are so many more ways to meditate than sitting still!

According to Wikipedia, meditation is “a practice in which an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear state.”

So by focusing the mind on anything of your choosing, you get your mind into a flow state, which is what meditation is. It is so much more simple that it seems, and simpler than I ever thought it could be.

You can sing, dance, create, exercise, do housework, yard work, etc. Any activity that puts your mind in a flow state is considered meditation.

Now, I am no expert, and I have not always had great results when I try to meditate the way it is most frequently portrayed, I actually do meditate my way every day and do know how wonderful the benefits can be.

I have a bad habit of saying far to often that I don’t really meditate, but I am really just letting my limiting beliefs run wild in my head so they shoot out of my mouth before I can stop them. Because in reality I do engage, as I already said, in some form of meditation daily.

When I sit down to write my blogs, I get in flow, and that is considered meditation.

When I paint I get in flow.

When I play music and sing, I get in flow.

When I sit outside and just stare off in the distance, not focusing on any particular thoughts, I get in flow.

So in reality I do meditate. And meditate daily.

Which brings me to being mindful.

I love practicing mindfulness. I am so much more comfortable talking about and leaning into being mindful.

As per the dictionary at dictionary.com, mindfulness is defined as “the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.” And as “a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.”

The two sound awfully similar, don’t they?

It used to help me to refer to my practice as being mindful, because for so long I had such a huge block around meditation. And I still do. I am actively working on it, and writing this post for you is helping me even more.

Mindful meditation is my favorite meditative practice now. When I sit outside and just stare off into the distance, usually focusing on a cloud or the birdsong, that is mindful meditation.

When you are mindful of each moment, each task, you can turn the ordinary everyday mundane into the sacred. You can turn ordinary moments into infinite chances to create peaceful renewal within yourself.

You can begin to practice mindful meditation.

You can turn a walk in the woods into a sacred ritual.

Washing dishes can become a chance to connect with the Divine within you.

Daydreaming can become a chance to mindfully begin to manifest the life of your dreams.

There really is no wrong way to be mindful, to meditate, or to incorporate either or both into your daily routine.

Expressing gratitude each morning when you wake up is a wonderful way to begin.

Ending your day with a prayer to the god of your understanding is another wonderful way.

Meditation and mindfulness, after all, have been used in various religions and rites since the beginning of time. No matter your belief system, prayer is a form of meditation, and is also a great way to connect to your higher power, your higher self, or whatever you feel connected with. It is also a perfect practice of gratitude.

In my coaching practice, mindfulness plays a huge part. In my hypnotherapy practice, both mindfulness and meditation play huge parts.

I love coaching a person around mindfulness. There is something so pure and fulfilling about taking a client through the various tools I use to help foster more mindfulness and self-awareness.

It is a beautiful study to watch another soul awaken to their own genius, their own divinity.

From there, it is usually so fun to segue to meditation. Once my clients really lean into and begin practicing mindfulness, the natural next step is meditation.

Meditation on their terms.

I am currently studying to become certified as a meditation teacher, and my previous schooling in meditation and hypnotherapy is really aiding me in my studies. I feel having this skill and modality under my belt can only help me coach all my clients even more.

I hope that by bringing some awareness to the topic will help widen the perspective of what meditation and mindfulness are, and all the amazing ways you can practice them daily.

I was blissfully unaware of just how impactful having a daily practice can be. Practicing mindfulness and meditation daily, any form of meditation, seriously impacts your state of being.

Meditation is widely known to help with stress relief and anxiety, can help relieve pain, decrease the symptoms of depression and depressive episodes, can help lower blood pressure, and enhance overall well-being.

Some statistics from disturbmenot.com from 2021 are as follows,

Meditation improves anxiety levels 60% of the time.

Meditation can reduce the risk of being hospitalized for coronary disease by 87%.

Meditation can reduce the wake time of people with insomnia by 50%.

And those are just SOME of the benefits.

So you see, incorporating meditation into your daily schedule has some amazing benefits.

I invite and encourage all of you to go ahead and give it a try. However it works best for you. Start with 5 minutes a day and increase it as you feel comfortable. The goal would be to get to 15 minutes twice a day, but any time you spend daily will benefit you enormously!

And remember, any form of meditation is perfect. As long as you begin and enjoy it.

April is for Art!

Sun, 10 Apr 2022 19:49:17 GMT

How does your creativity show up for you?

Happy Spring my friends!

Here we are, the beginning of April, Spring is FINALLY beginning to show its face. Trees are budding, daffodils and tulips are waking up and showing us their faces. Birds are singing. And the weather is warming up!

I love Spring!

The other morning as I was contemplating this month’s blog topic while I was just enjoying a beautiful Spring morning outside my home, I had the sudden urge to paint the view around me. Paint how this particular morning made me feel.

The sun warm on my face, the air still holding on stubbornly to the chill of winter, them smells of the earth giving birth to new life, and just how joyous that made me feel.

That is when I decided I would dedicate the entire month of April to art, to creativity, and to all of you artists who create from the heart.

What does art and creativity look like? It’s so very vast and subjective and personal. So I ask all of you, how does your creativity show up for you? What does it look like to you?

This Spring I ask all of you to challenge yourself to really look and reevaluate your thoughts around art, and more specifically, your creativity. How and what do you create?

For so long I had a narrow idea of just what art, and creativity, look like. That because a narrow-minded teacher in high school didn’t like how my creativity showed up for me, that meant I couldn’t possibly be creative...be an artist.

I let that color my thoughts and feelings around art for a very long time.

But then when Covid hit, and lock-down became a way of life for months, all of my limiting thoughts and beliefs around art and creativity began to be challenged.

You see, I come from a pretty creative family. Artists and musicians, my mother and brothers have incredibly talent. But I always felt woefully less than, especially when that teacher, with a few careless words, confirmed my worst fears...that I was talent-less.

My children are talented as well, and it was my youngest child who helped me find my spark again.

You see she wanted to paint, so while we were all stuck in the house, I said why not. We got paint and canvases, wood and ceramics, and spread out towels all over the floor so she could explore her passion.

I never thought that I would discover mine as well.

It was in those few months that my whole thought process around what art and creativity are changed. My creativity started showing up in so many unexpected ways.

I found a soul-deep passion for painting. Acrylics and oils are some of the most freeing mediums for me.

And once I opened the door, other creative avenues became clear.

Painting. I love, love, love putting brush to canvas and just seeing where my creative higher self wants to go in that moment. It’s also a way for me to meditate. To be in flow.

Music. I played instruments when I was young, but now I hear music everywhere. And I sing! All the time, and probably not wonderfully, but that’s another way my creativity shows up for me.

Writing. I love to write. I think I had forgotten how much I love to write. Even in the moments of my stalling when sitting down to write here each month, I truly love writing. I love telling a story, fact or fiction, and sharing it with all of you.

My family. Yes, I consider my family one of my most precious creations. Because it takes a whole lot of passion, love, and creativity to create and shape and love other humans so that they can grow and blossom into the best versions of themselves. It takes love and passion and dedication and creativity to blend lives with another human being, and navigate all the things life cam throw at you for years and years together.

Decorating my home. That’s a creative art that is fun and personal, and makes a space truly a home full of love and warmth and style.

Starting a business. That is creative! It takes a flexible mind and a whole lot of grit to take an idea and make it a reality.

Cooking. Another incredibly creative outlet! I love creating my own recipes and whipping up a fun and creative meal. It brings me so much joy to watch others enjoy what I’ve created in my kitchen. And have you seen cakes and pastries some artists create? Incredible works of art made from sugar and cream and time and patience and creativity!

Those are some of the ways my creativity and artistry show up for me. They are all ways that bring my sheep joy and a deep sense of accomplishment.

I used to think you had to make money off your art before it was worth anything. And now I know the most valuable payment comes from creating from your soul. That energetic pleasure and satisfaction of honoring my higher self, my soul, is worth more that any mount of money on the planet.

My mom made some of the most amazing art, and I would always ask her why she never sold any of it. It baffled me that she was so talented and creative, and all her art would just be sitting around her home.

Now I get it.

She made it for her. She created simply to create.

It brought her joy. It brought her peace.

She filled her days doing exactly what she loved, and each piece of her art embodies that perfectly.

I like to think now that she passed that on to me. That simple joy in creating, no matter what the creation is.

I firmly believe now that we must create. As humans it is in our nature to create. To imagine, and take our imaginings and bring them to life.

Pictures, music, food, families, building, cities, civilizations. It is as natural a part of humans as breathing.

Unfortunately we live a society now that rewards the grind. So many of us have forgotten what it means to live. We work so hard for so many hours of our days, usually outside the home and away from our families, away form our selves. And when we have free time, we are usually exhausted.

But when we slow down and reevaluate, much like Covid forced me and most of the world to do, we remember what living is all about.

Part of living is creating.

So, I ask you again, how does your creativity show up for you?

What ways do you create art? Your art? The art of your soul?

Is it gardening? Yoga? Healthy meals?

Is it your family? Your children?

Is it reading cards? Honing your intuition?

Is it in your business?

Is it in the pictures you take or paint? The sculptures you create?

Is it in the music you play, write, sing?

Is it in the stories you tell? The ones you write?

Is it in the clothes you wear? The home you decorate?

Is it in the life you are creating?

I would love to hear from each of you about how it shows up for you. Shoot me an email and let me know.

I would love to do a feature on you and your art. And I would love to collaborate

I would love to work with you to help you discover your creativity and create whatever you desire.

When you are ready, I am here. I cannot wait to create something magical with you.

March is for Motivation!

sites@tailorbrands.com — Tue, 12 Mar 2019 16:48:38 GMT

Let’s talk about motivation.

We all know what that is, right?

According to dictionary.com, motivation (noun) is:

“1. the act or an instance of motivating, or providing with a reason to act a certain way.

2. the state or condition of being motivated or having a strong reason to act or accomplish something.”

Okay, so what does that mean to you? How do you feel about the word? And do you feel negative when you perceive yourself as not being motivated?

I know I can fall into that trap more often than I care to admit. Just today I was feeling awful because I was procrastinating writing this post, feeling far less than motivated. Unsure of what I was going to say, or if it would make sense, I sat at my computer and went through old emails instead of allowing my motivation to carry me into my writing.

But Jen, you say, here you are!

Yes, here I am. But I could have bailed.

In my own fear (see last month’s post) and worry, I almost made myself small. I procrastinated much of the morning.

Well, if I can be all the way honest with you for a second, I spent much of the last month procrastinating. I made the commitment to write a monthly blog, yet it took 3 weeks for me to sit down and put pen to paper. Or fingers to keyboard.

I made every excuse I could think of. I needed to do laundry. Vacuum. Dust. And I absolutely despise dusting! One of my wintered-over plants needed re-potting. Just one more chapter of my book.

And it all stemmed from fear. Fear, not that I wouldn’t be good enough. Not this time. Fear that I might be great. That my blog will take off and become popular. That my name would get out there and people would actually WANT to work with me.

I promise you, I am just like you.

But, again, here I am.

It may have taken 3 weeks to sit down, but I am proud I did. It just took my realizing how I was using all those things as distractions to keep me from becoming more authentically myself.

When I finally sat down and reminded myself WHY I am doing this, that’s when the words started to flow.

That’s when I really saw consciously just how my motivation shows up.

You see, motivation isn’t all about getting up at 5 AM and running on overdrive all day in the pursuit of accomplishment. Not that there is anything wrong with that. As it is I am up at 7 just about every day, so no judgments here.

It’s just that, I mean, motivation, in reality, can look as simple as taking baby steps every single day, then looking back and seeing how they all added up.

Sometimes it looks like just showing up and remembering your WHY for whatever it is that you are doing.

Sometimes it even looks like taking a nap. That nap may be motivated by a deep soulful need to rest.

To me, motivation is less about the actions you take, but the intentions behind them.

My motivation for writing this blog post is to honor my commitment to myself and my fledgling business. To do something I have loved my whole life and never really given a chance – writing. To have a chance to connect with all of you and maybe, just maybe, make some connections, help some people, and shine my light.

To show my children anything is possible. That solid, dedicated work really does pay off. That you can be and do anything you can dream of.

That’s my motivation. And these baby steps I’m taking every day? The small posts to social media, the sitting down to write even when my brain yells at me to do ANYTHING else, the small but priceless changes to my own mindset?

Well, those baby steps sure are piling up. Looking back just 2 years ago, when I was just beginning my journey at SWIHA, and seeing just how far I’ve come… I can hardly recognize that girl.

I was motivated to do more. What that more was, I didn’t know at the time, and it really didn’t matter. All that mattered was that something inside of me was pulling and pushing me to reach for more. To be more than I ever thought possible. To do things I had only wished and dreamed of in secret.

All of that was motivation enough to get started on those baby steps. Two years later, I have a business started, one I am still unsure of its direction, but it’s mine nonetheless. I have graduated from SWIHA with several certificates in different modalities under my belt along with my Integrative Healing Arts Program degree.

So...motivation.

What does it look like to you?

Can you look back and see how all your baby steps have carried you to where you are? And how more baby steps can carry you even farther?

What motivates you? What is your why?

Is it a better future for yourself and your family?

A new car? A new home?

Love?

No WHY can be too big or too small to be an inspiring motivator for anyone.

As long as the WHY is yours, it is perfect.

So, let’s talk about motivation.

I can’t wait to hear from you. To work with you. To coach you and be your cheerleader.

To honor you and your why.

I’ll be here when you’re ready.

Fear(less) February

sites@tailorbrands.com — Tue, 12 Mar 2019 16:47:17 GMT

It's time to stop letting fear get in the way, and to start living!

Let’s talk about fear.

Fear.

It can literally save your life.

It can also stop you from living life fully.

You know what I mean, that ugly little monster that lives in your head and scares the crap out of you at the most inopportune times.

Have you ever paid attention to when you feel fear the most? And I don’t mean in actual situations where it is a necessary feeling. I’m talking about those times when you may be standing on the precipice of something big – a new job, a new baby, a big move – something that can essentially change your life.

It does love to rear it’s head when your are right on the precipice of change – evolution – shifting.

That ugly little voice that tells you it’s safer right where you are. That to change, evolve, shift is to go into the dark unknown. To travel into the spooky woods at midnight with nary a flashlight for company.

That voice that creates stories of fear, puts faces and names on them, and proceeds to assault our conscious mind with them so that you stay, well, safe.

Small.

Out of danger.

“Don’t” “Stay” “Fear”

That nasty little monster has oh so many faces too. It could be the bully from the second grade that you had totally forgotten about. It could be falling off your bike and scraping your knee as a kid. It could be any one of your past relationships, friends, situations, etc. There are endless faces fear takes on.

Yet the one constant thread through all it’s faces is that they are all lies. Sneaky lies your fear monster tells you to keep you safe.

Now, you can’t blame the mind, it’s only trying to keep you safe. And safe is relative to its maturity, which is that of a 5 year old child, approximately. Our mind, the subconscious, is a wonderfully complex thing, yet it’s maturity level is seriously to be desired. One of it’s jobs is to keep us safe, and when change arises, well, that seems pretty scary.

Except – it can keep us from the very things that will change our lives for the best. From new ways of being and thinking and doing that will elevate us to heights even our wildest dreams can’t fathom.

Now, a wise woman I know introduced me to this acronym for fear, and it is not only brilliant, but oh so true.

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

That nasty little monster in your head is just presenting you with false evidence, usually in the form of old memories and tired stories, and making it appear so very real.

I mean, it’s your head, it knows best how to scare you.

And this nasty little monster isn’t trying to be mean or malicious. It really does think it has your best interest at heart. After all, your mind is only doing what it’s supposed to – it’s trying to keep you safe.

While that may have worked in the days of caves and fire pits and wild animals and the vast unknown, it rarely works in the 21st century.

You see, that part that’s trying to keep you safe is really just bored. Gone are the days of our needing to be alerted to each and every sound, to the shadow on the rock, the unknown around the corner. Back in prehistoric days our mind really did keep us safe. Our fear monster then was really our best friend.

But in this day and age, I really believe it has lost a large part of it’s job of keeping us out of real physical danger. Now in it’s own boredom and anxiety, it alerts us far too often. At times when we should be excited, I think our brain doesn’t really understand the difference between that excitement and the feeling of danger.

Hell, if you look at them, they seem similar. Elevated heart rate, rapid breathing, some apprehension. Except fear is a really uncomfortable feeling. One none of us want to feel. Much less sit with, challenge, and change it into excitement.

Because fear doesn’t feel exciting. It feels like your heart beating a thunderstorm in your chest. It feels like a thousand angry bees trapped in your belly. It sounds like a sea caught in a hurricane in your ears. It sounds like every mean, angry, degrading, shameful – you name it – thought you’ve ever had, all at once, so loud it’s all you can hear. Except one feels bad and one feels good. Yet when we are just running on auto, much like we all do every day, we don’t always interpret our feelings properly, and that’s where the fear monster lives and plays.

When we aren’t fully aware of what we are feeling, good or bad, and when we aren’t aware of how they are being interpreted, a lot can get lost and distorted. What’s the term? Oh yeah, lost in translation.

Lost in translation…

Much like that ugly little monster throwing fear at you like ice water right in the face. You know, throwing all that false evidence appearing real right into your consciousness.

It used to happen to me ALL the time. Shoot, it still does! I still have my moments of struggle. I still get bogged down and mentally crippled with fear. Sometimes I catch myself in the beginning throes of an attack, and have to talk myself through.

The last couple of years especially. As I have been on my own journey, awakening to my true self, identifying and healing trauma and triggers, reframing massive thought patterns, challenging old behaviors and ways of behaving...my own personal little monster has really come out to play.

So, how do I deal with my fear?

Probably a little like most people. I get scared. Sometimes I freeze. Sometimes I feel anxious and panicky. Sometimes it stops me from doing that thing that my little monster is trying to stop me (incorrectly) from doing.

I talk to myself. All the time. That is one of the biggest ways I am able to work through my fear and get to know that little monster. I will sit and speak to my mind as if it is a separate person. Sounds a little wonky, but I promise you it works. I never scold myself, but I do speak gently, calmly, and give myself some firm love as I challenge those fear-based thoughts that creep in. I have become my own best friend, and I recommend it to everyone.

I can’t tell you how much time I’ve seemingly wasted stuck in fear. And that’s ok. I was probably just doing my best at the time just to survive. There is no shame in that, no guilt, and no regrets. Everything happens the way it’s meant, in the time it’s meant. I believe that. Wholeheartedly.

But I’ve learned some great tools for transforming that fear monster into my friend. You see you can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away. You have to be brave and welcome those feeling with open arms. You have to sit with them, giving them space to be seen and heard and understood.

Once you have identified whatever it is that is coming to the surface as fear, then you want to challenge it. Not aggressively or mean. But kindly, with love. And not just a little firmness. I like to compare it to tough love and parenting. Because in a sense you are parenting your own mind.

So let me ask this? Have you ever stopped to witness how it shows up for you? Does it sneak attack you out of the blue? Is it that nagging voice that just won’t shut up? Is it sneaky and quite, where all of a sudden your heart is racing and you’re worried about what could happen?

Do you feel shame over whatever it is your mind is telling you to fear? I know I am guilty of that. So that you just don’t want to tell anyone out of...wait for it...fear that they will laugh or make fun of you, or even worse, tell you your fear is real. It’s easier to keep it to yourself right?

Wrong. To name it is to claim it. And if you claim it, you own it. Now it can no longer control you, you control it. Now you can sit with it, even when it sucks and is uncomfortable. You can begin to understand it, shed light on it. The dark is only scary until you turn on the light.

And then you have to transform them.

How do begin, you ask? How do you start to identify and challenge that sneaky little monster? Well there are a few questions I like to ask myself.

How does this thought, feeling, fear behave?

Is it useful?

Is it truthful?

Where is the evidence?

While you’re doing that, remember to breathe. Deep and slow. It’s a fact that you can’t panic while controlling your breath.

Remind yourself of your present. Your current reality. Look around and express gratitude for where you are now, where you’ve been, and give that back to the fear monster as evidence there is no need for fear right now. Show that little one the difference between being afraid and being curious. Being excited. Being hopeful.

Sure, it’s perfectly normal to feel apprehensive about things, but that even feels different that fear.

Start taking back your control over your feelings and your mind so that you can emote them correctly. Mind you, we are all human, and we will probably never conquer fear totally. And there are times where it’s appropriate to be afraid. You know the difference. But we can always begin to overcome our fears one small step at a time.

Now I think it really is time to turn on the light. It’s time to take your fear and start making friends with it. Start challenging it. Start diving deeper into your SELF, finding your truth. Because I can promise you, the fear your mind is using to keep you safe isn’t the truth.

Doing that will set you free. No, it won’t be easy. But what’s easy isn’t usually what’s right. Or what’s needed. Hell, if any of this were easy, everyone would be doing it!

Now I no longer look at my fear monster as a bad thing, but as a piece of me that has my best interest and safety at heart. I remind myself to challenge my own thinking, to breathe when I feel trapped in a thought spiral, and to look – really look – at my surroundings and express my gratitude for my life and how far I’ve come.

Life is about the journey, right. Once you reach the destination, well, that’s it. So enjoy and embrace your journey.

Learning how to transform your fear into whatever feeling feels the best for you is all part of your journey. Why not start to enjoy it instead of succumbing to the fear monster?

I want you to know you are not alone in this. It is so easy to feel isolated and alone when dealing with fear, but the truth is, we never are. Giving a voice to the fear is another way of transforming it.

I know, I know, that’s scary too, that opening up and talking about it. But if you found this blog post, then I know for a fact that you’re no coward. You may feel alone though. Or maybe you don’t have someone to open up to. Whatever your reason, you are not alone.

I can promise you that I am right here with you, on my own parallel journey. I am putting in the work, and I hope paving the way so it’s just a little easier for each of you. That actually scares me, but I know why, and it won’t stop me.

So let’s talk about fear. I’m here. I’m ready. And I’ll be here whenever you are.

My Own 12 Steps for Everyday Living

sites@tailorbrands.com — Tue, 12 Mar 2019 16:42:45 GMT

There's more life, more magic in you than you know.

Laugh! It’s just life and you only get one. Don’t take it so seriously. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Laugh whenever you can!
Love – Love yourself first and foremost. With that unabashed unconditional love we too often seek outside ourselves. Then you can gift that love to the world.
Let it go – Let go of what your life “should” look like, and embrace what it does look like! Let go of the past, let go of hurts, let go of everyone else’s expectations.
Speak kindly and lovingly to yourself. YOU are listening.
Face your fears – Face them, love then, know them; then courageously keep going when they would otherwise want you to stop.
Remember to be present – Be fully present in your mind, body, and spirit. Celebrate what is right in front of you everyday, or else you will miss your whole life.
Celebrate!! Celebrate yourself for the amazing, unique, and magical being you truly are. Find the joy in the everyday mundane. Celebration is magical.
Stay curious – Embrace your childlike curiosity and wonder! Never let that go. Use it to see the magic of simply just being alive.
Stay kind – To yourself first and foremost. Then extend that kindness to everyone, even those who may not seem to deserve it. You don’t know their circumstances, but you know you. Be kind always.
Stay honest – Honest within yourself first. Speak your truth, even when it seems difficult. Even when it seems the small lie would be better. Trust me, it won’t.
Forgive – Start with yourself. Forgive your past, your mistakes, all the baggage. Forgive those that you may not want to. Forgiveness isn’t for anyone but you. Forgive so you can keep moving forward with joy.
Live!! It’s not about what you do for your job, for money. It’s about what you do for a living...What you do to LIVE! Do what embraces your alive-ness. Work is work, but what you do for a living is how you truly live.